#4

The Clover’s Dream

written by Mathias Svalina

I am in love with the Sun. I love the Sun so much, & I feel what must be its love every day as it shines on me. The Sun must love me, to give its light & heat like this, filling me with energy & life. Isn’t that love? What else could it be? Yet, when I ask the Sun to express its emotions to me, when I ask it what it might be feeling, the Sun hides behind clouds, or slips over the neighboring roofs & sinks the city into darkness. When I tell the Sun about the difficulties in your life, the Sun goes quiet, silently burning & burning. You wait for the Sun to reply but it doesn’t. For too long it’s been like this, the Sun shining on me when it wishes, then disappearing, as I chase it across the sky & it disappears into the dark. I stretch myself into a kite, allow the wind to lift me from the ground. I float, up, up, up, through the clouds, above the clouds, until it is only me & the Sun. The Sun burns on me, fills me with energy, with life. There is nowhere it can hide now, no clouds to mask it, no skyline to hide behind. Do you love me? I ask the Sun. Do you love me? The Sun burns brighter, hotter. I can tell the Sun is trying to say something, is trying to convey something important. But the Sun remains silent. Then I notice a movement beside you. You turn & see another kite in the sky. No, two kites. No, dozens. All of these kites up here, all up here to confront the Sun, to ask the Sun for its love, to try to feel something the Sun will never be able to give.